MY DEAR FABULOUS DAUGHTER,
Whilst your sister and father were recently away on vacation it was my misfortune to be left to deal with our two cats and their odorous litter boxes. I was feeling rather annoyed with this less than pleasurable duty and as I grimaced and emptied the boxes a memory suddenly popped into my head. As you know, cats are not my favourite animals, and upon more than one occasion I have experienced overwhelming spasms of disgust when dealing with their boxes, the dead creatures they leave as gifts at various unsuitable locations around the house, and the hair they shed in copious amounts that manage to attach to my best clothing just as I set out for an evening out with cat-less friends in perfectly immaculate cat-hair-free outfits. On the other hand, your dear father adores the cats, takes great pride in their expertise as hunters and will not hear of our sending them packing.
Several years ago while cleaning up a nasty "message" one of the cats had left on the carpet I muttered under my breath that I had had enough of the cats and either they were leaving once and for all or I was. Apparently I had proclaimed my threat louder than I'd thought and, unbeknownst to me, your sister stood just behind me. At the sound of her bursting into tears I spun around and asked her what was wrong. After several moments of loud wails followed by much gasping, sniffling and snuffling, she was able to blurt out - But Mommy, I'm going to miss you so much!
Priorities ...
LOVE YOUR WONDERFUL MOTHER
