Kind, friendly, considerate me

My dear fabulous daughter,

Last week I embarked upon a new phase in my journey through life - I decided to make a sincere effort to be kinder, friendlier, and more considerate to those around me - to family, friends, neighbours, acquaintances, and even perfect strangers (why is it acceptable to refer to a stranger as “perfect” when everyone is taught from a tender age not to talk to them in case they’re evil?) ... as I was saying ... last Monday morning I leapt out of bed with the energy that can only be ascribed to the newly converted. My new mantra, “be more kind, friendly, and considerate”, was pulsing through my brain and I intended to honour my commitment to the best of my abilities. I put on my running shoes, harnessed our wee dog Jaqui and set out the door looking for people with whom to be kind, friendly, and considerate. Round the block we went, stopping here and there to sniff at the new blossoms popping up around the neighbourhood (of course, my four-legged friend was sniffing at other objects, I won’t go on to describe as I’m being kind and considerate to you). Not a soul in sight, so we repeated our walk around the block until, ah-ha, at last, I spotted the neighbour from across the street, pushing her son’s scooter up the hill as she often does on a weekday morning after accompanying him on his daily scoot to school. She was half a block ahead of me, when I called her name and waved vigorously; she turned, waved back rather hesitantly, then continued on her way. I tried to catch up, but she disappeared into her driveway as I rounded the corner onto our street.

The next morning I thought I’d try again - out the door we bounded, looking for someone upon whom to bestow kindness, friendship, and consideration. A few cars drove by, and that was it until I rounded the corner and saw the same neighbour at the foot of her driveway. I called her name and again waved enthusiastically, however she didn’t return my wave, instead she stared at me for a half second and then beat a hasty retreat up her driveway and into her house. Apparently this kind, friendly, considerate thing wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. On the third morning our sweet wee dog and I set out earlier and headed in the opposite direction to wait at top of the hill at the end of the block, to await our neighbour’s scooter-bearing return up the hill.

After a seemingly endless wait, there she was and I walked non-chalantly down the hill toward her. When she looked up and saw me I gave a sort of low-key, oh-there-you-are-again-neighbour-I-hardly-know casual wave and saw her stiffen, then quickly turn the corner a block down the hill - a definitive deviation from her usual route! Clearly she was avoiding kind, friendly, considerate me! During previous months when I’d walked our dog in the mornings we’d passed one another and nodded or exchanged a few formal variations of “good morning” rather awkwardly, however, since I’d begun attempts at overt friendliness, things were clearly heading downhill (pun intended). In fact, I was beginning to sense an atmosphere of negativity in the neighbourhood.

Ever diligent, I set out on the fourth day, planning to out-and-out question my neighbour, as Jaqui and I strode toward the top of the hill my mind became agitated - perhaps my sudden and overt attempts to engage my neighbour had confounded her ... perhaps the loud honk caused by my hitting the alarm button on my car key late every Monday night had ticked her off ... perhaps she was feeling a tad resentful that after a long and pathetic attempt I could find only $4.17 in the recesses of my purse for the $5 box of Girl Guide cookies her daughter had attempted to sell to me ... a moment later I was astounded when I saw my neighbour driving her mini van slowly up the hill and then hit the gas peddle to roar past me and round the corner ... what on Earth?

I turned heel and dejectedly headed home. As Jaqui and I reached the foot of our driveway I saw your sister walking toward us on her return from a walk to the grocery store. I stopped and waved the friendly wave I'd used all week; when she reached me she scowled and said it was gross and disgusting of me to shake a bag of dog poop at her. Oops - I've been avoiding our poor neighbour ever since!